Right now my life feels like a circus act. I have two major professional projects going, my daughter is turning 13 at the end of the week, my mother needs my care and attention, and I’m on deadline with some collaborators.
I chose each of these circumstances. I have chosen to be head-over-heels in professional work, and I choose daily to love and nurture my mother and my daughter (not to mention my husband). I’m in all of these situations because I want to be here.
I’m fully aware that I can’t keep this up for long. Fortunately, I know this is a particularly busy week; things will settle down soon. But for now, I am juggling. It feels as if I have five balls in the air.
The risk, of course, is that I will drop the ball. Someone might be let down, even slightly. Someone might see me as incompetent, even briefly. Someone might have to be patient with me. Someone might have to forgive me for something. That someone might even be me.
Real jugglers develop a rhythm in their hands and arms, and a sixth sense about where the balls are in their trajectory. They know just how high to toss, just when to catch one ball, and just when to catch the next. They are calm. They are very, very present.
Maybe I can juggle the way they do – calmly, with quiet peace. I’m taking the risk.
Carolyn Cook is a sometimes peaceful, sometimes frazzled individual who works to raise a daughter, build a marriage, and explore the human condition through theatre, art, music, history, literature, and relationship.
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I am often feeling like I’m juggling with too many balls in the air. Thank you for reminding me how to do it successfully.
And sometimes real jugglers drop the ball and just make it an instant part of the show!
As a fellow juggler (real and metaphoracal), I like the reminder to be present. Amen.
From one risk juggler to another. Hang in there!