Sometimes folks who love us grow weary with our grief over losing a loved one and want us to be “better” before we are able.  There is cultural pressure to “be strong” and “be okay” .  It takes patience and inner strength to continue leaning into the sadness  in order to heal from deep within.  Our task then becomes one of tender understanding  – both for  their urgency and for our own need.   Our task is to risk being the way we are  – sad for what we have lost – until we can climb into the new skin that awaits us.

We don’t get past it.  We learn to embrace it with out whole heart.  We don’t move on.  We are carried by all the love around us. We don’t get stuck.  We simply pause because this part is harder to absorb.  We don’t put it behind us.  We allow it to become part of us . . . softening us into strength.  We don’t forget.  We remember – cherishing the gift. 

Janie Cook is a retired teacher who lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, Gareth. She shares her days with family and friends (a precious privilege), facilitates a bereaved parents’ support group and enjoys digging in the Texas Hill Country dirt & learning about natural gardening.
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