Having my first book published has marked a real threshold in my creative writing life. Not only is it a thrilling accomplishment in itself, but it’s also opened up a lot more opportunities for me to teach and mentor.  (In fact, I’m now officially a mentor in The Writer’s Loft low-residency program at Middle Tennessee State University.)

I’ve been incredibly blessed to have some wonderful mentors who I’m now attempting to model. But I also decided it was important to establish some rules for myself as a mentor. After all, the last thing I want to do is to somehow hinder someone’s creative journey.  I’ve had small doses of criticism that I felt was too harsh in the past, and I don’t want to make anyone felt like I did at those times. I’m glad to say that any negative feelings didn’t last long because I’d been encouraged so much by so many others!

Having spent many years in the Methodist church, I didn’t have to look any further than Methodist co-founder John Wesley for inspiration. Wesley’s first two rules for living apply quite well to the mentoring process:

I visited John Wesley's statue in Savannah last summer. This summer, I'm thinking a lot about how his rules for living can help me be a better mentor.

Rule 1 is do no harm.

Rule 2 is do all the good you can.

Now, it’s easy enough to keep these two rules in mind. What’s hard – and where the risk is involved – is interpreting them. I think doing all the good I can generally means that I need to point out the truth about someone’s writing. But how I convey that truth is all about doing no harm. For example, a brand-new writer may be ready for only one or two suggestions on her short story, while a more seasoned one can stand an entire laundry list of the most nit-picky details.  Part of my job as a mentor is to sense what’s right in each situation, for each person.

Finding this balance of doing good and doing no harm is sometimes harder than it looks. Although circumstances will vary, I think it’s always about conveying the truth with kindness and encouragement and without sugar-coating that may confuse the mentee. (And yes, mentee is a word, at least according to some sources.)

In your interactions with friends, colleagues, and family, you undoubtedly have the opportunity to take on a mentoring role with regards to someone’s career, spiritual life, creative pursuits, or general everyday living. Are you taking on that opportunity?  What are your challenges and experiences in mentoring others?

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Kory Wells would like to say she brazenly tossed aside her twenty-year career as a software developer to forge a lucrative career in poetry. She’s content to report that she now writes poetry, prose, corporate communications, and the occasional snippet of software code in a life-work balance that functions pretty well most of the time. Author of the poetry collection Heaven Was the Moon, she’s been recognized by Ladies’ Home Journal for her “standout” writing in the anthology She’s Such a Geek. Visit Kory's website.
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