When our Blog-master (or maybe that’s blog-mistress) asked us all to think more about Risk in our writing and to make a commitment to risk – I balked. That’s what I do. As a student, I was always the annoying fly-in-the-ointment who couldn’t quite pull off an assignment without twisting it out of shape. Over the years I’ve tried to temper that impulse and have also tried to understand its origins. Why can’t I just play by the rules? Now I’m asked to “take a risk,” and my first thought is, “No thanks!” But I am a walking, breathing risk-taker! That’s what I do!

I do it so well and so often that I don’t even know I’m doing it. I no longer consider it risky. If you are reading this on the day it went live, I am probably in a car driving to Spartanburg, South Carolina where I am taking a huge risk to earn an MFA in creative writing specializing in poetry. I’m doing this because I think I’m good at writing poetry and because I believe with two MFAs under my belt, it will be easier to get faculty positions in either art or writing. Ultimately, I’d like to teach both – maybe even at the same time.

I’ve taken so many risks in the past few months its incomprehensible but at the time, I didn’t see them as risky. I just did them. I decided to apply to this program toward which I am now headed with very few credentials and having not published a poem in twenty years. Since then I’ve published two poems, written around 150 poems, submitted work to Chapbook competitions, been offered the publication of one by a small local press, written a critical review for Alabama Writers Forum which will appear later this month, read new work publically, been asked to read in February at a gallery, written a fan letter to a favorite poet, received a fan letter myself, and developed rewarding relationships with people I’ve yet to met in person (including my many blog-sisters here and elsewhere). I’ve trusted people I’ve never seen face to face with my most personal thoughts and words. If I had recognized each step of the way as the risk it truly was…would I have done all these things? I don’t know.

What will I risk if I recognize my risk-taking? As I think about the projects I’ve committed to in 2010, I confess I am scared. What if the poet-muse burns dim or the time and energy escapes me? What if I fail to be as good or as capable as I think I am?

All I can do is follow the course of my affinity. Today I am doing that. If you want to call it risky – keep it to yourself, sister!

Melissa Dickson Blackburn is a Mother, Poet, Visual Artist, Blogger, Marketing Director. MFA Poetry candidate at Converse College. MFA, Painting from SVA, NYC 1995.
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