How very fitting that I should be submitting my February risk on Valentine’s Day, for the risk I am taking now is in returning to a relationship that ended in 2008. And not just any ending, I might add, but a spectacular flame-out, the details of which I am too embarrassed to describe here except to hint that law enforcement was involved in a big way. Suffice it to say, I am as surprised as anyone that we are trying again.
Eliza took a major risk by getting in touch with me last summer, and I took a bigger risk by acknowledging the outreach. We were always great email pen pals. She was in a new relationship, so I didn’t feel pressured or targeted in any way. Instead, I felt a friendship developing, free of our past baggage. When I was ceremoniously dumped from my job in October, Eliza was the first one on the scene to offer support, encouragement, a shoulder, and all the free Starbucks I wanted. Once weekly, we met for coffee at our ‘safe place.’ Soon we noticed that our coffee sessions were lasting hours instead of minutes. And we both wanted more of them.
Most people advise strenuously against a Relationship 2.0. They say it’s going backwards, and you want to move forward. They say if it didn’t work the first time, it ain’t gonna work the second time. But like everything else in my life, I figure nothing ventured, nothing gained. How will I know it won’t work out this time unless I attempt it? What if we’ve both grown and learned how to do this right? Why does it feel like we’re not done with each other yet? And why are there so many songs about the second time around?
We’re a whole lot wiser now, and calmer, too. We’ve seen the worst in each other, and now we’re trying once more to give each other our best. I’d say that’s a risk worth taking.
Randy Foster is a confused communications professional who was recently laid off from her job of 22 years, and thus unemployed for the first time in 34 years. She has no earthly idea what she wants to do with the rest of her life, but figured things can't get any riskier, so what the hell. Randy is also the single mother of a very high maintenance teen-aged daughter who remains the greatest risk of all.
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You know I believe in second chances. Everyone deserves the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. You have learned from yours and Eliza has learned from hers.
If you can avoid repeating old, self-defeating habits, this could be the start of something really special. Which is what you deserve.
I found the “love of my life” the second time around. Good luck to you.
Sometimes second chances can yield amazing results. Good Luck!
What a gutsy venture indeed (and posting it here, too, opening yourself up by telling your truth). For any of the ways these next steps could go–the delightful or the baffling–cheers to Finding Your Voice and Speaking Your Truth. No matter what…truly!…that’s going to serve you well.
Wishing you many many good things ahead~~~
Thank you for courageously acting on your heart’s messages, and for courageously sharing that with us!