“The younger generation” has grumbled about how the average age on facebook is old enough to be grandparents. It didn’t start out that way. But as time goes on, more of us who have seen many more birthdays have found joy in reconnecting with long time friends. In our hectic lives it is time-saving to click on, learn about friends, see pictures and jot a note to them in the time it takes to eat breakfast. You are writing people, who because of distance and time, are no longer on your to do list. And,who, in many cases, are good for the heart to get back in touch with.
Then you post a picture of you and your same sex partner. Yikes! Talk about stepping on a whole new platform of risky. The way I look at it is: those who don’t know about my 10 year relationship may be surprised. But if we are to be authentic in our “sharing”, I want them to know about my house and home, which includes this fantastic woman who wants to be with me in the good and bad for the rest of my life. Someone sees my profile pic may say to themselves: “I guess I don’t want to “friend” her after all.” It’s my life, and it is up to me whether I want to live it authentically or live in such a way that is easy for others to take.
When I first came out to my Dad many (many) years ago, his first response was, “your mother and I will always love you, just don’t tell anyone ok?” Bless his heart. Over time, he came to realize that being gay wasn’t fatal and what truly matters is how a person loves,lives, and contributes to her community.
Posting a picture of my partner and I may be risky. I’ll never know what those who regretted “friending” me thought when they saw it. I do know that it has welcomed some of my friends from my past to seek me out as counsel, in regards to how to interact with their gay children. That is really an honor. Something about living out loud, and risking being authentic, has signaled to my dear friends, that I am a safe place for tough questions they are having with themselves. What an honor really. And how reaffirming that I can live a life I am proud of. So Dad if you are listening: I don’t go out of my way to tell anyone I am gay, just as you don’t tell anyone that you are an American. It’s just who I am.
Live your life to the fullest, live with integrity and don’t be surprised if someday someone asks you questions from their heart. What a gift those ‘heart to heart’ talks are. What a precious gift.
Betsey Brogan is on her way to creating World Peace - one massage at a time. On-site Chair Massage and In-Home table massage. Bringing Stress Relief to You.
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I LOVE this post, Betsey.
Yes, ma’am. And what a precious gift YOU are. Thank you for this post and for being willing to be you.
The way you are in the world, Betsey Ann, reminds me of the best of who I can be – we ALL can be. I’m just so proud of how you’ve turned yourself out
— and Dad is, too.
This is profound—thanks for being so real. And not only for posting about this perspective–but having the guts to Live This Out Loud. (and you wear it well, dear sibling, that i’ve gotta say!). Having recently witnessed what it meant to your longtime childhood friend to finally be able to turn to you (for support/ for perspective/ for understanding) and tell you that her beautiful young adult daughter is gay just brought tears to my eyes. I saw how she trusts you, and I know what strength that gave her, to have you to turn to you. ((I really think Dad would’ve come around to Ok-in-the-everyday too. He’s always always been buttons-busting proud of you)) Thank you for this post: wonderful title too! You go girl!
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