For most people food is a source of enjoyment and social activity. But for the parent of an allergic child, it can be a source of stress, especially if the reaction is severe or life-threatening and if the allergen is a common ingredient.

My son was diagnosed with a food allergy two years ago making him more likely to develop a life-threatening reaction.  While we did not have to carry an epi-pen for him, the growing sensitivity was putting us on that trajectory.  For the first year after his diagnosis, I was on high alert, particularly after he reacted from being kissed by someone who had eaten the allergen.  His allergist restricted my son from eggs, palm oils, nuts, coconut, chocolate, and fish in any food item or anything that would touch his skin as well as anything processed on shared equipment.  We also learned all of the other names for the allergens and their derivatives.  At the time, my son was still breastfeeding, so I also avoided the allergens in order to prevent exposure to the proteins.

The allergens seemed to be everywhere.  So many  foods, lotions, and soaps had one or more of the allergens listed on the ingredient labels.  Even my face serum had an egg protein in it.  I shopping for a package of baby spinach until I read that it had been processed on shared equipment.  Grocery shopping became time-consuming.  Going out to restaurants, eating at school, and eating with friends became complicated, but possible with education and often packing our own food.

Some scoffed at how we approached my son’s allergy-until they witnessed a reaction.  Others were sensitive to it from the beginning.

Not all parents take the same approach.  Two friends began the same journey two years earlier than we did when their daughters were diagnosed with nut allergies.  They were both a source of comfort and education.  Their children outgrew their allergies.  Another acquaintance had also been on the journey but took a much more relaxed approach.  Her child was often in the emergency room, carried an epi-pen at all times, and seemed to frequently suffer from a reaction.

A year into this, a new study indicated we might be able to build tolerance to eggs. And so began a series of introductions.  Over the last year, after careful consultation with my son’s allergist and series of tests, my son has built his tolerance to baked items with eggs and has gone so far as to have bites of scrambled eggs. He has been able to successfully eat chocolate (yay!), palm oil and items with traces of coconut.  This month, before the school year starts, my goal is to gradually introduce nuts.

I recognize that until you see your child’s face swell up after eating what seems to be a harmless food, it doesn’t seem like a big deal.  And until you read every label of every item every time it is brought into your house, it may not seem challenging.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are supposed to be the staple of the American child’s diet- not a potential threat. When I see other mothers give their child a peanut butter sandwich without a care in the world, I am envious.  If my child is closeby, I am cautious.  Now as we begin to introduce nuts, I am hopeful.  Wish us luck!

Tessa Lemos is a Chicana who grew up and was educated in the Pacific Northwest, blossomed in New York City, and now lives in Nashville where she continues to learn and grow. She is a lawyer by training, administrator by profession, and organizer by habit. She spends her days with her children and her nights with her husband and squeezes in the words as much as possible.
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