I am going to be a total wimp this time and write about a risk I might take. Maybe.
For the last six months or so I have been planning to do a small vocal concert in August. I know I will have time then. I just need to reserve a performance space, hire an accompanist, and prepare some music. I’m already working on a few pieces.
Every cautious fiber of my being is telling me not to do it.
I could probably sing a pretty good concert right now. But I have such high standards for performance that I can’t bear to be pretty good. Gotta be great. Gotta be amazing. Why would I ever, ever put myself in front of an audience and be less than fabulous?
The answer is that I would do it to learn. Doing this concert would allow me to learn what it’s like to sing for an audience (something I have not done confidently since high school). It would help me learn how to prepare a variety of songs. It would teach me about my own fears, and how to deal with them. Most of all, I hope, it would help me discover the joy of communicating through song.
I can produce notes, and I can even make them sound good. I can sing usefully in a chorus. I can articulate words, and I can speak them powerfully. I’m a professional actress. But if I am to consider myself a singer, I need to put words and music together. I need to learn to sing in a way that reaches people’s hearts.
I could take lessons and practice pieces forever in the privacy of a studio, but if I don’t sing for people I will never really be a singer. I want the rewards of self-confidence, self-knowledge, and professional growth that will come from taking this risk. But I’m horribly afraid of failing, failing, failing. The worst outcome I can possibly imagine is this: that I will find out I”m not very good. That I will lose hope. That I will be so discouraged, I’ll give up on my dream of singing again.
The best outcome? Discovering my inner diva.
The more I write, the more I see that I must do this concert. But the most I can say right now is that I think maybe I might do it.
Anybody want to dare me? Please?
Carolyn Cook is a sometimes peaceful, sometimes frazzled individual who works to raise a daughter, build a marriage, and explore the human condition through theatre, art, music, history, literature, and relationship.
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I dare you, I dare you!! Let me be first in line!
August… hmmmm… I am ready to write down the date.
You inspire me with your musings on the cautious fibers vs. inner diva discovery. I can see so much of that in myself, and other than driving through intersections and eating suspicious-smelling foods from the fridge… it seems like caution is overrated.
Go Carolyn! I can’t wait to hear your final decision.
Shoot! I wanted to be first!!!
Oh, Carolyn – please let me support you to do this. When can we talk, get back together, get back on track? I mean this for both of us, but maybe even more for me. It sounds like you’re already on track, just needing a nudge or two!
You go, girl!!!
ok…..let’s add this: I triple-Dog-Dare you!!
((and love the vision you have for this. turn that maybe might possibly into a Gonna!)
–> ok, and not to miss my metaphors….but didn’t i just this minute hear a blurb on atlanta’s npr WABE station, citing your upcoming adventures in Love’s Labour Lost??!! sometimes life just has these interesting, overlappy moments~ cheers and break a leg!
–> ok, and not to mix my metaphors….but didn’t i just this minute hear a blurb on atlanta’s npr WABE station, citing your upcoming adventures in Love’s Labour Lost??!! sometimes life just has these interesting, overlappy moments~ cheers and break a leg!
Carolyn,
DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know you’re gonna think I’m crazy for saying this, but I speak from almost 30 years of experience as a professional singer/actor and voice teacher (of professional actors, singers and dancers, as well as non-professionals)…….are you sitting down?……GREAT.ACTORS MAKE THE BEST SINGERS!! Honest. Because they ACT the words. And when I hear an emotionally connected, honestly sung song, I am way more moved than if I heard someone make perfectly beautiful sounds.
I will be there in spirit. Kitty
Go ahead and put a date on the calendar. If you will schedule your recital, I will schedule mine.
Getting something done imperfectly is better than something perfect that never gets done. Go for it.
I know you have a million things going on right now, but is there a date yet??? My August is getting pretty full and I want to make sure I fit it in if at all possible…