There is a contemplative practice called The Welcome Prayer. The more I practice it, the more I realize its wisdom and gift. It goes like this . . .
“I let go of my need for security.
I let go of my need for affection and approval.
I let go of my need for power and control.
I let go of my need for change.”
Do you hear the unfolding, the effort to eliminate the unnecessary and unhealthy, the relaxation within what is? Do you hear the distance between this and what we have been taught to so carefully clutch?

Now for the “but, on the other hand” . . .
When I first heard this, my whole system recoiled. . . . wait a minute !
Shouldn’t we seriously devote ourselves to making sure we have solid ground beneath our feet – economically, emotionally, relationally?
Shouldn’t we care what others think or feel? Isn’t that part of loving someone?
Shouldn’t we have some way of managing our lives, making sure we don’t over do or ignore important aspects of who we are? Isn’t that control?
And what in the world is this about letting go of change??? There are certainly things in life that are NOT right. Shouldn’t we want those to change ?

Okay, so, let’s back up a bit and recognize that sometimes we do need to manage or hold on, but those times rarely last very long. Maybe what we are talking about here is a matter of attention and awareness – a sensitivity for when the circumstances are appropriate for us to hold on and when we should let go – when to grasp and when to risk releasing our grasp. I’m convinced that learning this is essential to basic human contentment and a sense of peace. “Letting go” is the honesty of knowing we do not control or manage everything that can happen to us. It names those things that are necessary or important and helps to train our mental and emotional muscles to make those distinctions. It relieves us of false assumptions of our own personal power and in a spiritual sense, strengthens the trust in the Goodness we believe exists. All of this requires patience and that is certainly a trait our society seems to be trying to eradicate. So, the key is timing. I believe there are times in our lives when we must keep our hands on some things. Still, the overall idea of growing deeply and openly is certainly about “letting go”.

So, how do we reconcile the distance between maintaining a loving, gentle way of managing our lives and letting go ? I think the tipping point is “need”. When our “need” for security or approval or power or change begins to manhandle what we do and how we see the world and ourselves in it, then we can become blind and deaf to the surprises, the blessings, the grace and the freedom that is available.

To struggle with this risk is good. If you’ve ever watched a butterfly struggle to break out of her protective cocoon, then you get it.

Janie Cook is a retired teacher who lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, Gareth. She shares her days with family and friends (a precious privilege), facilitates a bereaved parents’ support group and enjoys digging in the Texas Hill Country dirt & learning about natural gardening.
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