Why is it that, at occasions such as birthdays, weddings, holidays, etc., we think we must feel only one thing, and that’s “happy?” (Or am I the only one that experiences this?)
Here it is, only a little after noon on my 49th birthday, and I’ve already had a nearly unquantifiable number of feelings, many of which I have attempted not to feel. One would think at this age, and with all the training I’ve had on the matter, that I’d be over this by now. But alas, I still have work to do in this area. Who knows – maybe that’s one of the reasons I’m still around, and into my 50th year. I’ve got more work to do!
Or, what if it’s because I have more play to do? After all, it’s true that some of the feelings I’ve tamped down today already have been those of excitement, joy and love. Something’s wrong with this picture, eh?
I am aware that this situation doesn’t have to do with anybody – but me – and I am grateful for that awareness. I am also aware of and grateful for the fact that I can see this happening, and therefore, do something about it. But doing something about it does require risk. Why? Because the one thing I can do about it, that will help me most, is to actually FEEL those feelings. And as you know, really allowing ourselves to feel our feelings is not always popular, and often inconvenient. But if I am to live up to a vow I made to myself recently, which was to be more trustworthy to myself, it is something I must do. And it’s quite different from trying to have only one feeling all day!
So, in the presence of God/Goddess/All That Is, loved ones and friends, seen and unseen (which includes you), I commit to feel my feelings – today, on this, my 49th birthday, the first day of my 50th year and of the rest of my life, to the very best of my ability. And I invite you to do the same.
I have a feeling we’ll be around tomorrow to communicate about how it went – in other words, I don’t think it’s going to kill us! 
Laura Biering has an infectious zeal for coaching people who want to do
enlivening work and live inspired lives. She's fired up about the power of taking risks - great and small - and the rewards that come as a result. She's also passionate about (1) creativity and authenticity and their potential to change the world, (2) frolicking with her adorable four-legged children, and (3) retreating with those she loves at her farm in Southeast Georgia, Brinson's Race. Visit her website at True Voices.
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Feeling one’s feelings is a hard thing to do. You are VERY courageous and smart!
Happy Birthday!!
You’re right – feeling all of your feelings is a risk. And it’s hard and uncomfortable and richly rewarding.
Yay for you!
Happy Birthday yesterday, Laura!
I hear you so clearly. And encouraging people to do this very thing is what I do a lot of with the grief support groups I lead. Some feelings are scary and just plain unpleasant . . . so I admire your commitment to yourself to feel those, too . . . and know they aren’t “all” of what you feel.
love your 50 self !!!
Happy and every other feeling you choose Birthday.
My dear ladies – thank so much for your comments and encouragement. Risking feeling is soooo much easier with each of you on my side. Love!
My 88 year-old male friend’s attitude about aging is that it’s always good to be “on this side of the grass”. His intellectual brilliance has not dimmed, although his body has not kept pace. Yet, his attitude about aging is positive.
I think aging for women brings a special challenge because of the emphasis on our appearance in our culture. We often become “invisible” as we move through our lives, and this can be disconcerting. It can also be liberating.
John Milton speaks to our attitude in one of my favorite quotes. “The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell, and a hell of Heaven”.
It’s all in one’s perspective.
Hey, Rox – great point! And I love that quote.
By the way, how are things at the beach with you-know-who?
Amen, mi amiga.
I really feel tugged by this very question also (you’ll note that in my post) and love the way you characterized it here. May each and all of those feelings add to your canvas.