I’m a biker, which also makes me a hugger.  Bikers hug each other in greeting and farewell.  Certain bikers hug each other in what appears to be an effort to pat each other down for weapons but most of us just do it because of the camaraderie and because we know the danger of our passion means you never know when you’ll see your friend again.  But I don’t want to discuss the risks of riding motorcycles; I want to discuss the risks of hugging.

My partner and I went to visit her family for Thanksgiving. She comes from a very large family, some of whom I’ve met on other occasions while others were new to me.  Still, since we are life partners her family is my family in my mind.  This tends to mean lots of hugs but some people seemed to prefer a handshake.  I find this interesting and wondered if it was to make them feel more comfortable or to make me feel more comfortable.  One family member had a cold and when the hand came out to shake it I thought to myself how it might be more likely that one would catch a cold from a handshake than a hug yet still I stuck out my hand.  Today I wonder if a hug wouldn’t have made her feel a little bit better.  One member who I had met earlier and hugged in greeting didn’t hug or extend the hand for a shake when it was time to depart, yet others wanted to hug in greeting and farewell each time we saw each other.

So, what do I risk by hugging people? I risk making them more comfortable or less comfortable, I risk my hug being rejected or catching a cold.  I also risk allowing someone to be a little closer to me emotionally as well as physically.

Today’s risk is to speak to the owner of an art and antiques store that has recently opened in my neighborhood.  I’m going to talk to her about selling my pottery in the store.  This is scary because of the opportunity for rejection but it’s also exciting because of the possibilities. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Until next time

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Lori Buff is a successful artist and website designer from East Atlanta Village where she lives with her partner and five dogs. Lori enjoys working in the garden, riding motorcycles and doing volunteer work but when she's not busy running around, she can be found engrossed in a good book.
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