A few days ago, I was heading up Interstate 26 to visit with my mother when I had a most interesting experience. I was actually slowing down because of construction, as you should do because people are working, when this feeling of warmth, well-being and gratitude came over me. It wasn’t until traffic was almost at a standstill that I even became aware of the intensity of those feelings. See, I am usually annoyed and impatient when sitting in traffic (yes, I’m that driver). This time, there was no agitation. Just calmness, and peace. Oh yeah, and I had this jaw-aching smile on my face, as if I had just won the lottery.
To be honest, that’s exactly how I felt- like I got handed a check for millions of dollars. I was startled by this realization, to say the least. I began reviewing what I had been thinking about before the warm, gooey calmness descended, and surprise, surprise, I had been ruminating about (more like wallowing in self-pity over) the difficulties I’ve been dealing with the last few months professionally and financially, how my writing has been practically non-existent, and how it feels like I’m never going to finish my novel (or find a publisher, or an audience- yeah, when I wallow, it’s more like deep sea diving). And then The Great Calm. And after the calm,I was hit by a serious wave of gratitude- as if I had already received my heart’s desire.
That moment still registers with me. It is one of the best moments I have ever experienced. Seriously. It’s like God tapped into my brain to give me a preview of what’s to come. Of course, He always omits the details, because giving me a roadmap would be too easy. Now, not only do I believe that things will change for me, I also believe that when it’s all said and done, I’ll receive way more than I could possibly dream of.
I risk holding on to my belief for a better tomorrow, as I move through an uncertain today.
Djuanna Brockington spends most of her time writing, reading books and blogs about writing, or thinking about writing because she is doing other things. Her family and friends seem to tolerate this behavior, in hopes that one day she’ll learn to be a bit more balanced. In the meantime, Djuanna continues to spend her days pounding out words on her beloved Macbook. Visit Djuanna's website.
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Gorgeous, Djuanna! Thank you so much for sharing this experience with us.
That, my friend, is what I’ve been trying to find the words to tell you about for…oh…about the last year.
I call that my “knowing” feeling. When I know that I’m on the right path, that I’m loved, that I’ll be taken care of (even if that means by me!), that there IS meaning and purpose to my life, that I’m making a difference, that I’m a good mom, that I’m gonna be ok.
Thanks for writing this, cuz the next time I’m runnin’ around with that cheesy grin on my face for apparently no reason, I’ll just direct them here to read this.
Love ya!
@Laura- thanks much.
@Suzanne- you were right. As usual.
love this! Love this vision of the great calm. And to name it is amazing, and thanks for the retelling of it. Sounds like you are on the right path. Keep listening I say!