I did it again. I put my religion at risk. This time I did it publicly, in writing, for the whole world to see. This is completely out of character for me-a self-described wallflower.

In Risking My Religion, I explained that I was digging a little deeper into my church to learn more about its teachings and positions and feared that there might be some disagreement. Well, I have continued to dig, this time on a very controversial issue.

I thought I would take an objective approach and write an article for a quarterly church periodical. I was reluctant to even bring up the subject with the editor. But I did, who brought it up with the senior pastor who entertained the subject. Well, that risk forced me to research on the hot topic.

Then I hesitated more. This time, I procrastinated finding out what the official teachings are, but with a submission deadline looming, I was forced to take action. I did my research. At first, it seemed there might be a huge disagreement. Uh oh. That dreaded feeling hit me. But I pressed on.

Thankfully, after further research and consultation with a sprititual advisor and interpreter of the text, I learned that I am in fact in agreement on official church teachings, however, I may not share the same opinion with the members of my church. Why is this risky? Because I wrote the article on the controversial issue, explaining my spiritual journey and personal opinion, which I suspect leans farther left than the majority of the membership. I do not like to draw attention. I fear this article will draw attention.

Before I could think too much about it, I submitted the reflective piece to the editor. It might be kabashed by the higher ups. It might not. But the issue was important enough to me to speak up. And if there is fall out, I will deal with it when it arrives.

Tessa Lemos is a Chicana who grew up and was educated in the Pacific Northwest, blossomed in New York City, and now lives in Nashville where she continues to learn and grow. She is a lawyer by training, administrator by profession, and organizer by habit. She spends her days with her children and her nights with her husband and squeezes in the words as much as possible.
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