I don’t really buy into New Year’s resolutions in the traditional sense. But, I do often establish a “theme” to focus on in the coming year; this year, part of my theme is “commitment”. Commitment to myself to keep trying, remain conscious, finish what I’ve started, follow through on what I’ve said I’ll do – for myself.
This led me to ask “why do I break commitments to myself to begin with?” I’m typically a very committed person; when I tell someone I’ll do something, I do it; I’m extremely loyal to my partner, my job, my friends… So, why don’t I keep promises to myself? Is it a lack of caring, of love for my own person?
Maybe I have let this relationship grown stale. Maybe I have grown tired of myself, thoughtless, bored of the confines of caring, of constantly thinking of the “other”.
Considering that this is a lifelong relationship, it’s time to make some choices. I can break it up; be resentful of its presence; angry at its shortcomings; bitter at the loss. I can ignore it; continue to disregard its feelings, its expectations.
Or, I can court it; try to win it back, fall in love again and work on nurturing a committed, loving relationship. We’ll get to know each other again, myself and I, and remember what we loved about each other to begin with. Maybe we’ll go to yoga; for a walk in the park; to a movie, then ice cream. I’ll bring myself flowers; send love notes; sit with myself looking at the sun. We’ll flirt in the mirror; dance to the music. Learn to love again.
So, I’m starting by risking asking myself out on a date. If you see me talking to myself in a restaurant or on a park bench; whispering in the library; giggling on the sidewalk, just smile and rejoice in new love.

Janet K. Carter is a creative and versatile marketing professional with fifteen years experience in marketing/marketing operations. She is currently seeking opportunities for meaningful employment with an organization where her skills and experience will be put to work towards improving environmental and/or social conditions. Connect with Janet at LinkedIn.
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