In the glorious poem, “The Invitation,” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer, there is a line that I have often questioned. And yesterday, while writing my post about feeling all my feelings, I think I came upon the answer, at least for me. The line is:
“I want to know… if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.”
Does this blow your mind, like it did mine? For so long, when reading this line, I have thought, “faithless… faithless? What is she talking about – faithless? And why would that be a good thing, making someone trustworthy? I would think it would be just the opposite!”
Now, I think I have at least a sliver of her meaning. If I have no loyalties to anyone above myself, and no faith that someone else will save me, or take care of me (no one but me, that is), then, and only then, can I be fully trustworthy to be honest and true, both to myself and others. And this is where it ties in to my commitment to feel all of my feelings. If I am my first and last stops in the process of making a choice or a decision, and if I am checking in with all of the voices inside of me about what’s right for me, not just the “should” voices, or the “tit for tat” voices, or the “scarcity” or “competition” voices, then others can know that what I say and do can be trusted. Surely, just like feeling one’s feelings can be unpopular and/or inconvenient, so can being trustworthy to one’s self. But oh, what a joy, to know that we can be trusted by ourselves, and what a joy, eventually, for those we love to know the same…
I hope this is making some sense to you, or will, eventually. Even as I write it, there is an elusiveness to it. What do you think? I’d really like to know…
And if you’d like to read the whole poem, which I highly recommend, just go here and enjoy!
Laura Biering has an infectious zeal for coaching people who want to do
enlivening work and live inspired lives. She's fired up about the power of taking risks - great and small - and the rewards that come as a result. She's also passionate about (1) creativity and authenticity and their potential to change the world, (2) frolicking with her adorable four-legged children, and (3) retreating with those she loves at her farm in Southeast Georgia, Brinson's Race. Visit her website at True Voices.
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Oh, wow! What a lot to think about. Now I’m going to be busy doing just that….
Well . . . one question that comes to mind is “Are trustworthy and honest the same thing?” Because in feeling our own feelings I have thought that to do that I had to be honest with myself and not afraid to feel feelings that I “shouldn’t” feel or were “inconvenient” as you so aptly say. But, I disagree about relying only on myself. I don’t do that . . . can’t do that . . . I need a compassionate community around me . . . not to take care of me but to be with me, present to me. Ronald Rolheiser talks about “moral loneliness” and I’ve been trying to understand his concept these last few weeks. Somehow, my sense of community around me (not just any community) helps alleviate my sense of moral loneliness. Few words and techno talk doesn’t really do subjects like this justice, does it. Anyway . . . happy birthday !!!!!!!