I hate to fly. On this particular flight (San Francisco to Denver), I’m in a middle seat (yuck) on a typically full domestic insert your favorite cursed airline here flight. And even though I’ve been flying regularly for years, my heart still races a bit at takeoff and during turbulence….I can manage it, but it still happens.

But, more importantly to this post, I LOVE to fly. Uninterrupted time (no cell phone, blackberry, etc – the computer is only out because I’m writing this post), beautiful scenery, being on a plane means I’m traveling – and even for business, I love to be in a new place. Even that little bit of out of my normal routine is exhilarating (yes, even the exotic destinations of Denver and Dallas).

I’ve also started using the time to swim – ok, dip – in the pool of my desire – and airplane time is the perfect place to do it. I mean, what else are you going to do??

Now, real, adult desire is something pretty new to me. Toe curling, heart pounding, clean desire. And, it feels risky. So, in the spirit of using this blog to vocalize the risks I am intending to take – this is a biggie. Just saying it out loud, on paper, out in the blog-o-sphere is B-I-G.

My heart is pounding and it ain’t from the turbulence.

I desire powerful peace.

Exhale – one more time.

I desire powerful peace.

In and of itself, that feels big. To top it off, I’ve got a strong preference for what I’d like it to look like. The dream goes something (or exactly) like this….

I wake up in a room full of bright sunshine. I kiss a sleeping Greg good-morning and I pad through a hallway to the kitchen – the tiles are cool on my feet, but the air is warm. I have lots of work to do today but I don’t need to rush to the gym to get to the office by 8:00. In fact, I don’t need to rush anywhere.

I have a warm, solid mug of coffee in my hand and I go outside to sit. There are mountains visible from the back yard (they’re in the distance, I’m definitely in a warm valley), there are flowers and tomato plants growing and my dog bounds up to join me. We breathe the morning air and sit in a comfy chair. The air is warm, birds are chirping and the tomato plants are bursting.

I close my eyes and think of the coaching clients I will work with during the day – my dreams for them, the space I hold for them. I think of the people I love and the dreams and space I hold for them.

I am full of powerful peace.

Whew – I said it. It’s gone from my head, on to paper, and out into the universe.

Now, back to the plane.- the feeling of powerful peace is so real I actually have to open my eyes. The feeling is so strong, so real….I actually can’t sustain it. And yet, I keep closing my eyes and going back….pushing the boundaries of my desire.

Feeding that future. Holding the space for my own dreams.

Veronica Samoulides is a recovering victim, blamer and self-pitying specialist. She’s bravely (usually) accepting her spirituality, her power and embracing her confusion. She lives in San Francisco with her equally confused husband, Greg.
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