There was an interesting editorial on one of the radio stations earlier this week. Its basic premise was that marketers simply have no idea how to sell to a single woman when it comes to anything other than 1) how to find the right guy and 2) how to be sexier or thinner or smarter or [insert lifestyle change here] (in order to, implicitly, accomplish “a”). A recent ad promoting home purchasing showed a single woman proudly signing the documents…and it caused a stir because there was no husband, boyfriend, partner, etc. lurking in the background (to, presumably, at least fix the toilet). I have often joked that the single women of today will be a single line in the history books (“Women in the late 20th century experienced an identity change”), when, in fact, we have been struggling for decades now, millions of us asking the same question about what we really want out of life, redefining what it means to be happy and successful. And embracing the reality that there may or may not be husbands or kids or partners along on the journey.
I am 46 and I am going to marry for the first time in May. I always thought the”right” guy would cure some of the ambition and restlessness I have. Imagine my surprise when no such cure occurred. Please don’t misunderstand: I am looking forward to the new horizons of marriage…and I have truly found “Mr. Right,” a man I love and respect in almost equal amounts. But it still gives me pause that I can’t be like my wonderful Mom—a beatific partner to her man, singularly fulfilled by the fact that she is her husband’s faithful wife and caretaker of their children. What a noble role and what an amazing mother she has been.
So why isn’t it enough for me?
Gwen Hughes was voted “Favorite Jazz Artist” (Creative Loafing), and has sung anywhere they will let her for over a decade. NARAS Board Governor 2008-2010, serving on Membership Committee, GA Music Advisory Committee; Advisory Board member, GOC Music/The Lowery Group; recent tours in Eastern Europe and North Africa created music clinics for children & adults, as well as concerts with local musicians in the regions; named Artist in Residence, GA Music Hall of Fame, 2009; bandleader, RETRO JAZZ KATS and CONTINENTAL DANCE ORCHESTRA, playing 200 dates a year; 5 albums on FAIRFIELD RECORDS, with placement in film, television and online media. Visit Gwen's website.
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Humans are born to wander, to wonder, to search, to affect others along the way…it is our nature to seek. Then we take the body off. Voila! We find that every life path was equally worthy of divine guidance and grace.
Being a single woman or married, the yearning will continue. And I think that is a good thing. Keeps everyone on their toes!