When Laura recently asked me to be a part of this wonderful group of women, I was honored. I AM nervous. I have found inspiration and joy in reading the daily blogs, but, would “little ole me” have anything to say that might inspire or bring  joy to anyone? I am going to take that risk!

As women born from the 1960′s to the present, or for those who went to high school or college starting in the 1960′s to the present, we have been told we can do anything, be anything, accomplish anything we set our minds to. We raise our daughters (and our sons) on these same ideals. These are important ideals, hard won, much deserved, and they require risk taking on our part.

I’d like to tell you briefly about a woman who took a different kind of risk.

My Mother-in-Law (whom I adored, and yes, you read that correctly) recently passed away. Several months ago, we had a conversation during which I asked her the following three questions:

“Did you ever want to be something else besides a Wife and Mother?” “No”, was her answer.

“Is there something you would like to do, that you never had the chance to do?” “No”, was her answer.

“Is there someplace you would like to see, that you’ve never had the chance to see?” “No”, was her answer.

I was puzzled by these resounding “No’s” for a long while. Doesn’t everyone have a dream of being someone or something else, something they wished they’d tried, a place they like to see?

Then she got sick, and while spending countless, mind numbing hours at the hospital, I returned to this conversation and I finally got it. She was telling me her life was just what she wanted, that it was successful and rewarding, just as it was. My Mother-in-Law took a different kind of risk. She took the risk of being satisfied with her life just as it was. Wow! What a concept!

Telling you about my Mother-in-Law gets me here: Do those hard won ideals raise our expectations for ourselves too high? By focusing on all the doors and paths open to us, do we risk missing opportunities to just “be satisfied” (like my Mother-in-Law)? If our focus is always forward, do we risk not enjoying the here and now? Do we risk not appreciating who we already are, what our lives have already brought to us, what we have already accomplished, what we have already done for and with those we love and care about? What would happen if we dared for a moment to savor our lives, just as they are? Can we  just “be satisfied” and not feel like we are somehow “settling” for less? Is it possible to have a balance between opportunity, growth and change and just “being satisfied”?

Please don’t misunderstand me. I am all for growth and opportunity and change. After all, that’s what committing to doing this blog is. It’s an opprtunity for growth, change and learning for me. One that I am embracing with both hands.

Was my Mother-in-Law’s acceptance of her life a generational thing? I don’t know. She was after all, born in the 1930′s. This year, part of my agenda for myself is to risk taking an honest look (or at least try to look honestly) at myself and understand who I was, who I am, and who I want to be. I will also ponder my Mother-in-Law’s acceptance of her life, and see what I  might still have to learn from her. Will I find all the answers, let alone like them? I don’t know, but I am willing to risk finding out. Maybe I’ll find my own “different kind of risk”.

Oh, and by the way, how fitting that this is my first blog. Today would have been her 73rd birthday.  Love you and miss you Dear!

Helen Medve is recently retired and is currently trying to figure out where her life will take her next. She wears many hats: wife, mother, daughter, grandmother, sister, ex-professional person, friend. She is excited about where life will take her next, and invites you along on her journey.
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